On Monday night, with all the other late-night hosts off this week except for Jimmy Kimmel, The Daily Show host Trevor Noah teed off on the latest news out of Trumpville: that the president’s decision to abandon our Kurdish allies in northern Syria at the behest of Turkey has not only led to the Kurds being under attack but also the escape of hundreds of ISIS prisoners they’d previously held captive.
“Sweet Jesus,” exclaimed Noah. “Donald Trump is the only person who can find a way to make the Middle East more chaotic. Turkey invading, Kurds fleeing, ISIS escaping?! Like, the Middle East was already a geopolitical Jenga tower, with everyone trying to figure out the right move, and then Donald Trump comes in and he’s like, ‘What if we move the whole table?’”
“Trump has justified his position to pull out of Syria by saying this is all part of his larger plan to bring American troops back home, and that makes sense,” Noah continued. “What doesn’t make sense is that ‘home’ seems to be another country in the Middle East.”
Yes, Trump has reportedly sent 2,800 troops to Saudi Arabia in response to alleged attacks on Saudi oil facilities that the Trump administration has blamed on Iran. “We are sending troops and other things to the Middle East to help Saudi Arabia. But, are you ready? Saudi Arabia, at my request, has agreed to pay us for everything that we’re doing. That’s a first!” Trump said during one of his regular White House lawn pressers.
“Yeah, he’s right—that is a first. I don’t think America has ever rented out its military before. Like, that is a wild thing,” offered Noah. “He’s selling the military and ‘other things’? What are the ‘other things’? Does anybody ask? Nobody? What, does he just sneak Eric into the shipment?”
“It’s weird that you can rent out America’s military,” Noah added, before throwing to the show’s senior war correspondent, Desi Lydic, to help “clear things up.”
“President Trump is just fulfilling his promise to pull U.S. troops out of the Middle East,” said Lydic. “And you know what? It’s refreshing! A lot of men say they’ll pull out, but they don’t. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me seven times… I have seven kids now.”